What is Domestic Abuse?

Under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, domestic abuse occurs when a person aged 16 or over engages in abusive behaviour towards another person to who they are personally connected, such as a partner, ex partner, or family member. Abuse can be a single incident or a repeated pattern and includes physical or sexual abuse, violent or threatening behaviour, controlling or coercive behaviour, economic abuse, and psychological or emotional abuse (Domestic Abuse Act 2021)

Nationally effects 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men over a lifetime.

• Abusing or controlling behaviour 
• Abuse can be physical, emotional, financial, coercive control, psychological, verbal and sexual.
• Violence can also be directed towards children, other family members or friends of the victim 
• Abuse behaviour can occur in any relationship 
• It can be a one-off instance or a pattern of events, with a partner or family member, of any age. It can affect anyone and everyone.
• Children are victims if they live in the same house as adults, suffering from Domestic Abuse.

Admitting to yourself and others that you are experiencing domestic abuse is very difficult. If you or your family are victims of domestic abuse you may be afraid to ask for help in case it makes things worse, but you don't have to live with this kind of fear. 

 If you answered no to any of these questions you could be in an abusive relationship and may want to speak to someone

Questions and Answers

1) What do I do to help my friend / daughter / son? 
Listen to them,  talk with them, talk to a professional about your concerns, go gently, what feels safe for you might not feel safe for them. Help them to record any instances, offer them a safe place, if that feels right. Sign post them to ourselves or other national bodies who can help too.

2) How can I leave my relationship? 
Talk to trusted people around you, talk to professionals who can help, who can help you to assess you risk level and put in place a safety plan- police, Citizens Advice Bureau, schools, hospitals, social services, Domestic Abuse services - all have a duty to care and try and support you when you feel the time is right. 

3) Are children affected if they never see the abuse take place? 
Yes but in a different way, they might feel the tension, feel that something isn’t right, but not sure what isn’t. 
Obviously if they see, hear or feel the domestic abuse first hand this will have much more effect. Since 2022 Children are now seen as victims in their own right, if they live with abuse, not just witnesses as thought previously. 
Children and young people are deeply effected, but often in many different ways, some will retreat, some might become aggressive, some will become very anxious, almost all will be dis-regulated in one way or another. 

4) What can I do to keep myself safe? 

• Report incidences to the Police 999 or 101, and ask them to flag the house for a quick response
• Make a Sanctuary referral with the Council for doorbell cams and other security measures
• Connect with trusted people you see regularly – GP, School teachers, friends, family any one who might be helpful. 
• Download Kulpa App for securing evidence
• Store passports and important papers safely, or take photos at least. 
• Contact Domestic Abuse services nationally and locally ask for support. 
• Know your rights too – contact CAB or Womens Rights for help in understanding the nest way forward. 

5) Will this behaviour ever end? 
Probably not of its own accord, usually behaviour has a cyclical pattern and often escalates in terms of abusive behaviour. Some perpetrators might agree to get some help for their behaviour, but often they do not feel they are to blame for their behaviour and put the blame on everyone else, especially the victim. 

6) Will I ever feel strong enough to leave? 
It takes great courage to stay for any reason and even more to leave.